Not all NewYoricans are assholes, but this one is.

So I went to my new "for now" after hours fave bar, Kiosko #20 called the Lighthouse or Lightpoint in Luquillo. For those of you who don't know, the Kioskos are basically a row of kiosks that for decades (i'm no damn historian ok) have been open and where you can find most of the good/bad for your health shit ricans like to eat and like crack pushers like to force foreigners to try. I'm talking greasy bacalaos (like some cod fish and flour deep fried wafer), alcapurrias (more fried yuca and crab or meat shit) and a ton of other stuff. Anyway, I go to this Kiosko @ night 'cus it'one of a handful that stays open late. The place doesn't get crowded, has 2 pool tables and the beer (Medalla) only costs $1.25. Most of the clientelle when I get there around 11PM or later is the staff of another kiosk further down and a few locals. There really isn't a whole lot going on in that area, between Rio Grande and Fajardo. The jukebox has a ton of Reggeton, Salsa, Merengue and of course fucking B A C H A T A...

Enough history, back to the Newyorican in question.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Newyoricans, especially the women. Man, talk about, how should I say this ? Friendly ? I have some very fond memories of some leideezzz. Ok, back to the #20, I went there last night around 11PM sat and had a few beers and this dude w/tats on his neck and baggy shorts sits next to me and starts talking shit to Joshua, the brand new (it was his 1st day) chef/cook, motherfucker's good ! Rican-Eminem starts, without anyone asking, to talk about how his company sent him to PR to do some work. How he has a nice hotel room in Isla Verde, how he will have a huge FREE breakfast in the morning @ his hotel and he will go to the bar and get free drinks. He couldn't stay with his relatives in I dunno where 'cus their place was too small and he needed his big hotel room that his company was paying for. He went on to tell me about his 14 PitBulls in NY, how he only sells them cheap to his Newyoricans friends but not to his white customers, they have to pay a lot more. Man there's a lot of crime on PR! he said, that's why I don't carry a lot of cash. My company puts all the money in my bank account and I use my ATM card, I gots crazy money bro ! He kept drinking Medallas and shots of Felipe II. Dude was fuct up ! I wasked him if he was driving like that, he sez, loco, yo voy suavecito por la orilla y ya. No me pasa na'. Si los policias me paran me hago el que no hablo español y me dejan ir porque esos cabrones no hablan ingles...So he decides he's hungry but doesn't have any cash and then remembers his ATM. Goes to the car, which btw, was an old Suzuki jeep. He xplained that his company woulda paid for any car he wanted but his Tio insisted he use his Suzuki. Comes back w/the ATM and orders some tostones rellenos con mariscos and wanted me to order some shit too, I politely said no thanks. A few minutes later dude goes back to his car and never came back. I had a free toston thanks to his sorry ass and I hope he got arrested for DUI.

Moral of this story, if you happen to somehow turn into a Newyrican, don't be an asshole.

Peace